Arguing with a friend: how to repair a friendship

Friendships rarely end with a bang. More often they end with silence after an argument, because nobody knows how to begin. That is a pity, because many friendships can be repaired.

Silence is rarely indifference

When someone stops responding, we quickly think: they do not care. Often the real reason is shame, uncertainty or fear of another argument. Keep that in mind before you read the silence as rejection.

Take the first step, small and without blame

Send a short, warm message: 'I miss our conversations. I would like to hear how you experienced it.' No explanation, no blame, no long text. You give the other person room to answer when they can.

Listen first, answer later

What the other person tells you may feel unfair. Do not defend yourself right away. Summarize what you heard and ask whether you understood correctly. Only then tell your side.

Acknowledge your own part

In almost every argument everyone has a part. You do not have to take all of it on, but one honest sentence like 'I could have said that differently' often opens the door.

When it does not become the same again

Some friendships do not recover, or become different. That is allowed. Finding peace in the fact that you tried is also an outcome.